Update from the slacker (aka me)

I've been rather slack over the last few months. I've been really busy (who isn't, I know, so poor excuse, I know also), with work, study, and dancing keeping me busy seven days a week.

Surprise surprise, I didn't even make it to the interview stage for the 2009 intake for medicine. I was half expecting the "thanks, but no thanks" letter from them, and unfortunately, I got it. In the form of an email, but the message is still the same. :(

And to tell you the truth, I'm not all that disappointed. I've been doing a lot of soul-searching over the last few months, trying to figure out what it is that I really truly would love to do, and medicine just didn't seem to fit it. I don't think I would get the enjoyment from seeing patient after patient, day in day out, solving their health problems. I may enjoy the relationship building aspect of it, but I'm not much of a hands on person, and that goes hand in hand (more or less) with this career.

What I have come to the conclusion about though is what I really want to do: and that is to work with numbers, spreadsheets, data. But not in finance, as investments and profits of businesses do not interest me in the slightest. I NEVER voluntarily pick up the Australian Financial Review to read for pleasure (also mentioned in my previous post, not surprisingly). I need to work where I can put to better use my highly numerical abilities in a different field.

And I think a scientific field would suit me much better. Psychology, perhaps, or assist in medical studies. Somewhere where I still get to work with data, but in a field that interests me personally.

I have to continue to do my research on how to best move across in to this non-financial arena. But I'm so happy that I've come this far and narrowed down exactly what it is that really gives me that buzz that I've been lacking in my working life so far.

I missed it

I missed the GAMSAT this year. I was sick in bed all day on Friday, and I already knew that I wasn't going to make it to the exam the following day. So I guess I'll just have to apply with last year's GAMSAT result. I wonder how I'll go, considering that I achieved a pretty mediocre score last year.

I think I'm going to apply for UND(Syd) as my first preference. I should've put them down as my first preference last year, I don't know why I went for USyd, especially since I knew that I wouldn't have a chance, based on my GAMSAT score (and my GPA, for that matter). Plus I really liked the campus, their smaller classes & the more 'intimate' nature of the course. Honestly, I only put down USyd because of their name. That's it. If I actually made it in to the USyd course, I probably would be wishing that I was at UND(Syd) instead! LOL

I'm still trying to decide whether I want to sit the UMAT as well. Do I have much chance getting a spot through this undergrad route??

**sigh** Is this worth the effort? Do I really want to go in to medicine? Is it really the right choice for me?? How does one know??

It's almost February

I can't believe we're almost at the end of January already. How quickly did the month fly by?!? I haven't even had the chance to start studying for the GAMSAT. I don't want to get an even lower score than last year...!

Decision

I've decided to re-sit the GAMSAT this year. I figured that I might as well re-sit, I have nothing to lose (except for the $300 entry fee, and an entire Saturday sitting the exam!).

I still don't know if medicine is the right career for me, but then again, does anyone know? Does the feeling of belonging in a hospital every time I'm in one count?

GAMSAT is on 15 March this year. I have a little over 2 months to prepare.

Fading Hopes

I'm once again fervently reading pagingdr whenever I can, after successfully fighting my obsession with the site about 4-6 weeks ago. Now I can't get enough info on all things to do with 2008 medical student places at Sydney universities.

But of course pagingdr is comprised of numerous other threads. And it is in these other threads where I have slowly (ok, maybe not that slowly LOL) come to the realisation that my Overall GAMSAT Score is probably not going to be as competititve this year as I would have liked.

So now my thoughts are currently revolving around the following themes (in no particular order or frequency):

- I probably won't even get a chance at an interview at USyd. Should I drop them down to 2nd preference then?

- Do I even WANT to go to USyd? Even before the results came out, I was already leaning towards UND(S), as I felt my own values and preferred learning structure/environment sounds like it will be more synonymous with this uni (based on the information that the uni has on its website). To be honest, I feel that I am only applying to USyd because of its well-established name.

- But UND(S) is brand spanking new. No one has even heard of the university. Although is this even going to really matter in a few years??

- There are soooo many applicants this year; no doubt a vast majority of them in Sydney. Simply only because it's the largest city in the country. What chance do I have at an interview, based on my mediocre Score??

- Should I continue putting in the time and effort (and $$!) in to my current career, if I am absolutely determined to get in to medicine?

- I'm pretty sure I'm going to sit the UMAT in July this year, so I will at least have the option to go to UWS. (Or UNSW I guess, but I doubt I want to go there for 6 years. I'm no spring chicken and time is slowly becoming a more and more valuable asset to me...! LOL)

- Do I really want to put all this energy in to all of this??!?

My initial happy feelings from yesterday's results is slowly withering away... :(

Official GAMSAT Results for 2007

Section I - 58
Section II - 60
Section III - 58
Overall - 58

Initial thoughts on reading my marks:

Section I: What?! That's pathetic! I expected a much better mark than that!

Section II: What?! 60?? I thought I wrote pretty good essays, I was expecting low to mid-60s at the very least!

Section III: What the?!? 58??!? WOOOOOHOOOOOO! I passed the Science section!!!! :D

So basically, my expectations were totally way off mark. But I'm pretty happy with my results, given that it was the first time that I'd ever sat this exam.

My overall mark isn't crash hot, my percentile ranking was roughly around the 55% mark. Pretty average, really. So I'm not sure if I'll score an interview. I'm almost positive I won't be asked to come in to interview at USyd (my 1st preference), so hopefully my 2nd preference will take me in (University of Notre Dame Sydney). I'll still apply to both, despite my so-so GAMSAT results. I've gotta be in it to win it, right?! :)

So I guess we'll have to wait and see what transpires over the coming few months. Hmmmmm... Now one wait is over, and the next one starts.

The others

I'm looking at other people's results that they've posted up in pagingdr, and everyone's done so well! What chance do I have??!!??

Still working up the courage to check.... I'm getting there.... :)

The Results are OUT!!!!

But I'm too nervous to check them!!!! My palms are all sweaty, and I can barely type.... I'm trying to distract myself by doing some actual work, but it ain't helping. :-/ Should I look before or after lunch? I don't think I can eat in my current state. I have to check my results before I can eat anything.

Just thought I'd post an entry now to remind myself of this awful feeling that I'm currently experiencing! LOL I'm feeling so stressed and nervous, in fact, pretty much the same feeling I had right before I walked in to the exam.

**sigh**

**deep breath**

I'll let you know the results as soon as I muster up the courage to look!!

Tick Tock Tick Tock...

I visited pagingdr earlier today, and there was discussion on how Acer had e-mailed everyone advising that the results will be released "later this week". But I haven't been able to check my e-mails in the past few days, nor can I log in to my personal e-mail account at work, so both the wait and the limited access to my e-mails is adding to the stress of it all! ARGH!!

Although I still wonder why I'm stressing so much about it all. It's just one lousy exam, after all. It's not the end of the world if I don't pass / get the required marks. I'll still be the same person as I was before the results came out, the world isn't going to come crashing down around me. I can sit the exam again next year. And besides, I also still have the UMAT option. It won't be the end of the world. :)

But despite this - I'm still freaked out!!! ARGH!!!!

The Wait

I haven't been able to check my e-mails (or write entries in here, for that matter) for a few days, and I was getting rather anxious when I went to check my mail this morning. This wait for my GAMSAT results is loooong, and not a particularly pleasant experience either...!

So is it going to be a daily dose of anxiety each day from now until the day the results actually arrive? And what if the results are bad anyway? All that nervousness and anxiety for nothing? People say the wait for the GAMSAT results is just the beginning: you have the wait to hear whether you scored an interview place, then you have the wait to hear whether you scored a place at your chosen university.

Is it all character building? Well right now, I certainly don't feel like I'm building anything except my anxiety!! LOL

While I wait....

I just realised something today that I have conveniently forgotten about - I don't even have my GAMSAT results yet. I've been thinking so much about what university to go, how the interview process will go, and reading other med students' blogs, that I haven't even thought about that dreadful exam and the fact that I haven't even received the results from it yet!

I had a dream a few weeks ago that my scores in each Section of the GAMSAT was 0/0/18. How devastating would that be if they were my actual scores??! Needless to say, I felt absolutely awful when I woke up that morning! LOL

I wonder what this Blog will be like in a year's time: whether I'd be a few months in to 1st year med at USyd (or UND, I haven't decided which one to put as my 1st preference yet, or perhaps UWS if I totally bomb out in the GAMSAT and choose to sit the UMAT instead), or if I would have just sat the GAMSAT for the 2nd year running, with my stomach in knots waiting anxiously for the results again. I'd love to be able to look back on this entry to remind myself just how I was feeling at that time about my uncertain future. :)

No matter what happens though, I can't neglect my current career. I need to continue to develop my skills and experience in my current field, should my medical aspirations not proceed any further than sitting the GAMSAT/UMAT. At this point in time, a medical career is just a dream, and I will continue to pursue that dream as best I can over the coming months. But I can't let my life stay stagnant while I wait for my GAMSAT results, I need to look at what else is out there for me in my current field. I need to be more pro-active.

So I think I'll step up the job-hunting this weekend, and hopefully come across a few promising roles in the process.