Difficulty in changing one's name

I have one administrative question to all the medical people out there: how hard is it to change your personal details on the medical register?

I have a (supposed, LOL) friend who claims that she did not want to change her name from her maiden name to her husband's name when they got married because it would take too much effort. I want to know what other people in the medical field (especially women, who are almost always the ones who take their partner's name in marriage) think about this claim.

I also note that she got married around 2 years after graduating from university, so it was not as if she had already built up a substantial reputation in her career over a 20-year period.

Update from the slacker (aka me)

I've been rather slack over the last few months. I've been really busy (who isn't, I know, so poor excuse, I know also), with work, study, and dancing keeping me busy seven days a week.

Surprise surprise, I didn't even make it to the interview stage for the 2009 intake for medicine. I was half expecting the "thanks, but no thanks" letter from them, and unfortunately, I got it. In the form of an email, but the message is still the same. :(

And to tell you the truth, I'm not all that disappointed. I've been doing a lot of soul-searching over the last few months, trying to figure out what it is that I really truly would love to do, and medicine just didn't seem to fit it. I don't think I would get the enjoyment from seeing patient after patient, day in day out, solving their health problems. I may enjoy the relationship building aspect of it, but I'm not much of a hands on person, and that goes hand in hand (more or less) with this career.

What I have come to the conclusion about though is what I really want to do: and that is to work with numbers, spreadsheets, data. But not in finance, as investments and profits of businesses do not interest me in the slightest. I NEVER voluntarily pick up the Australian Financial Review to read for pleasure (also mentioned in my previous post, not surprisingly). I need to work where I can put to better use my highly numerical abilities in a different field.

And I think a scientific field would suit me much better. Psychology, perhaps, or assist in medical studies. Somewhere where I still get to work with data, but in a field that interests me personally.

I have to continue to do my research on how to best move across in to this non-financial arena. But I'm so happy that I've come this far and narrowed down exactly what it is that really gives me that buzz that I've been lacking in my working life so far.

I missed it

I missed the GAMSAT this year. I was sick in bed all day on Friday, and I already knew that I wasn't going to make it to the exam the following day. So I guess I'll just have to apply with last year's GAMSAT result. I wonder how I'll go, considering that I achieved a pretty mediocre score last year.

I think I'm going to apply for UND(Syd) as my first preference. I should've put them down as my first preference last year, I don't know why I went for USyd, especially since I knew that I wouldn't have a chance, based on my GAMSAT score (and my GPA, for that matter). Plus I really liked the campus, their smaller classes & the more 'intimate' nature of the course. Honestly, I only put down USyd because of their name. That's it. If I actually made it in to the USyd course, I probably would be wishing that I was at UND(Syd) instead! LOL

I'm still trying to decide whether I want to sit the UMAT as well. Do I have much chance getting a spot through this undergrad route??

**sigh** Is this worth the effort? Do I really want to go in to medicine? Is it really the right choice for me?? How does one know??

Newborns

I went and donated blood today. The usual routine is that the nurse asks you for your full name and date of birth at the outset, and then asks you again about halfway through. The lady next to me was asked to give her details, and she replies "Jane Smith, 9 January 1991". 1991!! I felt so old. The nurse asked if she was at uni, and I was thinking to myself, "Uni?!? She's 16 years old! She's probably in year 10 or 11!!". Can newborns give blood?? hehehe ;)

Although even being in the center today made me feel like going in to medicine again. It just feels 'right', being there. I can't explain it any further than that. **sigh** The saga (to do or not to do medicine) continues...

Change? How much?

I have a friend who I believe has changed dramatically since she started studying medicine at uni. I think it just got to her head, and now she thinks that she's better than everyone else. She puts everyone down (including her own partner), and makes it out as if she knows it all and that no one else could possibly know as much about anything as she does. Whenever she's talking to you, she puts on this tone so that it sounds like she's lecturing you, that she's doing you a favour for imparting her knowledge on to you.

She is just so intolerable now, to the point where I just don't even want to talk to her anymore.

I know this is just one person, but if I decide to go in to this field, would I also change? And would the change be so gradual that I wouldn't even realise it, which is perhaps where she is at now??

Incessant Voices

I was standing on the bus the other day, and there was this guy down the back of the bus somewhere, occasionally screaming what seemed like incoherent words either at himself or at someone next to him. When I moved closer to the back of the bus, I finally saw the screaming man. He had a small device pressed up against his left ear, perhaps a walkie-talkie or a small radio.

I didn't think much else of him, thinking that he must have some sort of mental disorder. A few minutes later, I looked over his way again, and noticed that he was covering his ears. I was now within earshot of him, so I could actually make out what he was screaming to himself: "SHUT THE F#@K UP!!", "JUST SHUT UP!!", "ARRRRRGHHHH!!".

He must have been a schizophrenic, trying to drown out the voices that follow him around wherever he goes. When I realised this, my heart just went out to him. Can you imagine living your life hearing voices day in day out, and not being able to switch them off?? Ever?? It would be enough to drive you bonkers even after a few days, let alone an entire lifetime.

I'm not a doctor (obviously), but I wonder just how much medicine can actually help schizophrenia nowadays. I wonder if these people can actually live a reasonably comfortable life these days with the aid of medicine, by way of medication and/or the assistance from mental health professionals....

Going fine, but at a personal crossroads

My new job is excellent. The work is much more interesting compared to my old job, and the people (in general) are much much nicer! The hours are fantastic, generally 9 to 5, and the others in my team have told me that the stress levels are really low. No regular deadlines, however there may be the odd day each week where a few things need to get done, but in general, work is pretty laidback.

My dilemma now is - do I really want to leave this to pursue an entirely new career?? A career that is much more stressful, with much longer hours, and one that will take many more years to specialise??

I know people go in to medicine for a myriad of different reasons, one of which is being unhappy and unfulfilled in their current career. But for the most part, this doesn't apply for me. Most of the time I enjoy what I do, and it's only when I start getting down, when I start looking for 'meaning' in my work, is when I start to think about going down a different career path like medicine, where I am almost positive that I will find this.

I think I'm going to continue reading as much as I can about medicine as a career, reading med students' and doctors' blogs, as well as blogs like Hoover's medschoolhell :) and do as much soul-searching as I can over the next few months.

If I do land an interview this year (which I'm highly doubting at the moment, but who knows with this whole process), I'm going to continue with it. I have nothing to lose. :)

Self-Doubt

I'm starting to have doubts as to whether I really want to study medicine. My current concerns:

1. I'm the biggest procrastinator. I'm going to have to fight that big time if I'm going to study med. It's a course in which I definitely cannot leave my studying until the final few weeks before the exam.

2. It's a tough course. It sounds like my life is going to consist of only studying and sleeping for months on end. Do I really want to sacrifice all my time in this way?

3. Am I smart enough? I'm going to be surrounded by all these highly intelligent people. Can I even keep up, without having to spend 18 hours a day studying? Or would I have to be studying 18 hours a day anyway, even if I was the smartest person in the course??

4. My age. I'm older now, my ability to absorb new information takes a little longer than it used to.... I may have to study the 18 hours a day anyway just to keep up with the 20-year olds that will be studying with me.... Then there's the other aspect of not being able to practise medicine for as long as some of these kids. Granted, I'll still get 25+ years even if I graduated from uni at 40 years of age. But that still won't stop me from dwelling on my age... :)

5. I'll be a poor uni student again. For four years. And let's face it, it'll be a few years after graduation before I even start making the same amount of money that I do now. This is the financial sacrifice.

6. Lifestyle. Stemming partly from 5., I've grown accustomed to a number of things in my life - the time and money for dance lessons, the time to watch as much tv as I currently do, having discretionary money to buy almost anything that I want... Am I willing to sacrifice all this as well?

7. Is it really the course for me? Would I truly enjoy it as a career? Is my personality suited to medicine?

Or maybe these doubts are only coming out now because I know that the GAMSAT results are going to be released very very shortly, and my goal of obtaining a place as a med student may be that one step closer in just a few weeks, which will turn my life as I currently know it upside down....

While I wait....

I just realised something today that I have conveniently forgotten about - I don't even have my GAMSAT results yet. I've been thinking so much about what university to go, how the interview process will go, and reading other med students' blogs, that I haven't even thought about that dreadful exam and the fact that I haven't even received the results from it yet!

I had a dream a few weeks ago that my scores in each Section of the GAMSAT was 0/0/18. How devastating would that be if they were my actual scores??! Needless to say, I felt absolutely awful when I woke up that morning! LOL

I wonder what this Blog will be like in a year's time: whether I'd be a few months in to 1st year med at USyd (or UND, I haven't decided which one to put as my 1st preference yet, or perhaps UWS if I totally bomb out in the GAMSAT and choose to sit the UMAT instead), or if I would have just sat the GAMSAT for the 2nd year running, with my stomach in knots waiting anxiously for the results again. I'd love to be able to look back on this entry to remind myself just how I was feeling at that time about my uncertain future. :)

No matter what happens though, I can't neglect my current career. I need to continue to develop my skills and experience in my current field, should my medical aspirations not proceed any further than sitting the GAMSAT/UMAT. At this point in time, a medical career is just a dream, and I will continue to pursue that dream as best I can over the coming months. But I can't let my life stay stagnant while I wait for my GAMSAT results, I need to look at what else is out there for me in my current field. I need to be more pro-active.

So I think I'll step up the job-hunting this weekend, and hopefully come across a few promising roles in the process.