Boyz n the Hood

I just watched Boyz n the Hood. 17 years since its release, but hey, better late than never. I wish I watched it 17 years ago though. It is an excellent movie, and probably was the first to tell the world the real story about what is happening in the United States in some of the black communities in that country.

It is tragic. Black kids wanting to escape but can't. This one scene where a teenage girl is trying to study, but is distracted by the constant gunfire and sirens outside. And I won't ruin the ending, but suffice to say, the effort to get out is almost always insurmountable.

I don't know what it's like in that country, but from what I've heard from people who have been there, the race segregation is still clearly visible in most states. That is very sad to see, and I really feel for those people who are portrayed in the movie. There are thousands, if not millions, of people that the movie represents, and my heart goes out to all of them. I really wish the Government could do more to help these communities. No one ever wants to be in that sort of situation, but it is all the more difficult to escape such a life if you have little to no resources (financial or otherwise) to assist you to do so.

Motherhood

Is it wrong if I have no inkling whatsoever to become a mother? Christmas time always makes me question my lack of maternal instincts. We always meet up with our family & friends at this time of year, most of whom have little kids attached to their hip (figuratively speaking, but you know what I mean). But I don't ooh & ahh over them like some women I know. Does that make me less of a woman in some way?

Then there's the guilt I feel that my parents will not be grandparents. (Not from me, anyway. My brother could be a different story.) I see their friends becoming grandparents, and I feel sad that I can't (or rather, won't) give them the same opportunity. It brings tears to my eyes. I would LOVE my parents to become grandparents, I just don't want to be the mother of the kids. LOL

And why don't I have any desire to become a mother anyway? Shouldn't it be something innate in all women? I feel like I'm wired incorrectly or something. I know I'm not (wired incorrectly), but sometimes I wonder why I feel the way that I do...