Georgia Rule

Georgia (to Rachel): For a smart girl, you do stupid well.

LOL - B thinks this is so perfect for me, and I totally agree!

Update from the slacker (aka me)

I've been rather slack over the last few months. I've been really busy (who isn't, I know, so poor excuse, I know also), with work, study, and dancing keeping me busy seven days a week.

Surprise surprise, I didn't even make it to the interview stage for the 2009 intake for medicine. I was half expecting the "thanks, but no thanks" letter from them, and unfortunately, I got it. In the form of an email, but the message is still the same. :(

And to tell you the truth, I'm not all that disappointed. I've been doing a lot of soul-searching over the last few months, trying to figure out what it is that I really truly would love to do, and medicine just didn't seem to fit it. I don't think I would get the enjoyment from seeing patient after patient, day in day out, solving their health problems. I may enjoy the relationship building aspect of it, but I'm not much of a hands on person, and that goes hand in hand (more or less) with this career.

What I have come to the conclusion about though is what I really want to do: and that is to work with numbers, spreadsheets, data. But not in finance, as investments and profits of businesses do not interest me in the slightest. I NEVER voluntarily pick up the Australian Financial Review to read for pleasure (also mentioned in my previous post, not surprisingly). I need to work where I can put to better use my highly numerical abilities in a different field.

And I think a scientific field would suit me much better. Psychology, perhaps, or assist in medical studies. Somewhere where I still get to work with data, but in a field that interests me personally.

I have to continue to do my research on how to best move across in to this non-financial arena. But I'm so happy that I've come this far and narrowed down exactly what it is that really gives me that buzz that I've been lacking in my working life so far.

Finance is soooo not for me

Helping out at Lowes' store recently has put a bit more perspective on my life. I've decided that I enjoy being out of an office environment. I like working on the customer service side of things, as well as working on administrative details. I've always known that my passion never was in finance, and unfortunately have spent a good decade of my life in it. I love helping people, and I would much rather do that than read the Australian Financial Review every day. Ugh. I can't even bear to think about reading it, let alone actually read the damn thing.

Although I may just be enjoying it because it's not my usual daily routine. Would I still feel the same way if it was actually my job to work at the store, day in day out?

I've been thinking about what I'll do if I don't get in to medicine this year (especially given my terribly disorganised approach to the application process this year - please see previous post). Would I want to do something else still related to the health care field? How about nursing? Could I still be fulfilled in a nursing role? What else can I do? Can I do something where I can still use some of my current skills but in a non-finance field?

My current chosen career was decided based on external factors, and not on what I'm truly passionate about. And I truly regret that. Unfortunately though, I don't know what it is that I'm truly passionate about, so at the moment I feel a lack of direction. Will I ever know, I wonder.

I missed it!

OMG, I missed the deadline! Are ACER and UND going to be strict about not receiving my documentation by today?? I completely forgot that I had to order originals of my Academic Transcript again, and I only faxed through the order last Wednesday. I'm still waiting for them today (Friday night), so I still couldn't have even handed my documentation in person, even if I wanted to (which I so desperately did!!). ARGH!! Why am I so disorganised??!? Or is it just fate that's telling me that medicine just isn't the right career for me...?

Hmmm... Come to think of it, I was ill when the GAMSAT was on this year. And then I just submitted my scores for the GPA calculation at 4:59pm today; I was literally seconds away from the online calculator closing. I was actually scared that my submission wasn't successful, it was that close. But thankfully I received the confirmation e-mail. One thing that actually turned out well in this entire debacle of an application this year.

So I don't know if my final application will still be accepted, even though I've done all the online steps on time. *sigh*

A small business with a large problem

A friend of ours (let's call him Lowes, LOL) owns a small business, and I've been helping out at his store over the last few days. And I've had the "pleasure" of working with one of his staff members during this time. Let's call her Clueless. (This is in fact a double entendre; there is such a clothing store in Sydney... LOL) And she is so disrespectful! She's not rude, she just doesn't respect Lowes' decision on so many things. It's his business, and if he makes certain offers/discounts to people, then she should just respect his decision, and not question it each and every time. Certain decisions are made for strategic reasons, and she doesn't always see this bigger picture. All she sees is "well this is a 10% discount, and so we're losing 10%, which we wouldn't lose out ordinarily. So this is a bad decision", and herein starts the questioning of Lowes' original decision. She just doesn't see that this isn't all there is to it, and that we may be winning a lot more business from this one customer, which we otherwise would not have received. ARGH, she is so frustrating sometimes!!!

The other thing that annoys me is how she makes decisions based on how easy it makes life for her. If she can find a shortcut to do something, then she'll do it that way. That's not always a bad thing, sometimes she comes up with ingenious ideas this way, which can turn out perfectly fine. It just becomes a problem when she starts vetoing Lowes' ideas, just because his ideas - in her opinion - are too hard to implement, administer or manage.

And one final issue - she feels like she is entitled to make overarching decisions in Lowes' absence. Uh HELLO, I don't think so! You don't own the business. You don't have the authority to do whatever you want. Just because he is not in the store at any particular time doesn't give you the right to offer whatever you want to customers. Unbelievable.

I think Lowes is partly to blame for how she is right now. He hadn't set boundaries from the outset; and being a small business, written procedures aren't in place to set boundaries and expectations. I'm not saying that he shouldn't have processes in place . The complete opposite, actually. Especially after seeing what has happened now, without them. And I don't know how he can rectify the problem now. He has let her run amok in certain ways, and I can't see how he can all of a sudden set boundaries and not expect a negative reaction from her.

Lowes has also mentioned that in the past, when he has put his foot down, and made his final decision, no questions asked, she becomes sullen and ignores him for the rest of the day. How rude and disrepectful is that?! I can't believe you would act that way with your own boss. I am completely shocked. And at the same time feeling sorry for him to have to put up with this behaviour.

I missed it

I missed the GAMSAT this year. I was sick in bed all day on Friday, and I already knew that I wasn't going to make it to the exam the following day. So I guess I'll just have to apply with last year's GAMSAT result. I wonder how I'll go, considering that I achieved a pretty mediocre score last year.

I think I'm going to apply for UND(Syd) as my first preference. I should've put them down as my first preference last year, I don't know why I went for USyd, especially since I knew that I wouldn't have a chance, based on my GAMSAT score (and my GPA, for that matter). Plus I really liked the campus, their smaller classes & the more 'intimate' nature of the course. Honestly, I only put down USyd because of their name. That's it. If I actually made it in to the USyd course, I probably would be wishing that I was at UND(Syd) instead! LOL

I'm still trying to decide whether I want to sit the UMAT as well. Do I have much chance getting a spot through this undergrad route??

**sigh** Is this worth the effort? Do I really want to go in to medicine? Is it really the right choice for me?? How does one know??

Quote for the day

"We should consider every day lost in which we have not danced at least once." - Nietzche

Another improvement!

I got a few more compliments on my dancing tonight. :) My instructors would be proud. One guy commented that I was really light; another said that I was really easy to dance with; and a fellow female student said that I've really improved since the first time she saw me (which was only a few weeks back).

Awesome.

Improving?

I can tell he wants to talk to me, but doesn't quite know how to initiate the conversation! He tends to use the end of the day to come over to talk to me. Yesterday was the first time, and I was really impressed with his effort. I have a feeling he'd been looking for a reason all day, LOL, and finally found one at around 5pm. It was a little awkward, but we got there, I think.

And today was even better. Well, it started out rather awkwardly at drinks, and he positioned himself right next to me whenever he could. But drinks isn't my scene, as you know, and we barely talked. But we finally found each other later and we had a pretty good chat then. Awesome way to end the working week, I reckon. :)

Good moments - when there's no silence

There's this new guy in my team at work who intrigues me. He's one of these rare guys that I actually get along with, who I am quite comfortable with when I am around him. And you know how rare this happens.

Now I say 'quite' comfortable because the really ironic thing is that, because we're both very quiet individuals, when we are actually next to each other, we actually don't have much to say to one another! But the few times when we actually have conversed were really good moments. I could really feel that we were on the same wavelength, and that we both have the same very dry sense of humour. LOL I just wish I knew how to have more of these good conversations, and minimise the number of silent moments...!

I think he feels the same way, because I think he does what I try to do - position ourselves close to the other to strike up a conversation that we know we will both enjoy. But he has the same problem as me in that he doesn't quite know how to start (and continue!) the conversation. :-/ Such a shame. I'm hoping that the more time he's in the team, the more I'll find out about him, and the more chances I'll have to actually strike up a conversation with him!

I'm ok when there's a group of us chatting, but usually the others can carry the conversation along. But it would be nice to just talk to him, and get to know him a little better.

I feel like a teenager all over again.

To be or not to be... with child...

Is it wrong for me not to want children of my own? Am I selfish for not wanting rugrats in my life (apart from Angelica and the gang... LOL)?? I can't imagine being a mother. The idea doesn't repulse me, but it doesn't interest me, either. Is that bad? Does it make me less of a woman for not having (or wanting) children?

I'm running out of time to make up my mind. And I don't know if I'll come to a decision in time.

Tick tock tick tock...

Treasure

My Dad wished me a happy birthday recently. This is a bit of what he wrote:

"The pictures show the girl I still see until now, when your name is mentioned. You were the most beautiful baby in the world, and you are my treasure. Please take good care of yourself Always."

And he attached one photo of me when I was a baby, and a second photo when I was probably about 1 year old.

I thought it was such a beautiful message, which I will treasure always.

It's almost February

I can't believe we're almost at the end of January already. How quickly did the month fly by?!? I haven't even had the chance to start studying for the GAMSAT. I don't want to get an even lower score than last year...!

Decision

I've decided to re-sit the GAMSAT this year. I figured that I might as well re-sit, I have nothing to lose (except for the $300 entry fee, and an entire Saturday sitting the exam!).

I still don't know if medicine is the right career for me, but then again, does anyone know? Does the feeling of belonging in a hospital every time I'm in one count?

GAMSAT is on 15 March this year. I have a little over 2 months to prepare.

A classic

'Canon in D' has to be my all-time favourite classical piece. It amazes me that Pachelbel composed this over 300 years ago, and it can still evoke so much emotion all these years later.