Insecurities

Well first off, let me just update you with my application. I got the "thanks, see you next year" letter from ACER. I'm disappointed, but not surprised. So that's the end of the application road for me for the year. Now I have to decide whether I want to go through it all again next year. But I'm still doing some soul-searching, and I'll provide an update on this another day.

Now on to my current "real" life. I'm starting to have doubts as to whether I can do this job, this new job that seemed oh-so-wonderful just a few short weeks ago. All these terms crop up at work that I don't remember back from my uni days (mainly because I hardly studied during those formative years... LOL), so now I'm going to have to whip out textbooks and what not to figure out what my manager is actually talking about during our team meetings! ** sigh **

I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I've really only just started, and everyone says (including me, but not when I'm talking about myself of course) that it'll take months just to start getting in to the swing of things at a new job. And the work is completely new to me, so I have that to take in to account as well, and not just the new surroundings. I'm pretty much starting from a zero knowledge base. I feel like a graduate, almost, which is why I'm starting to doubt whether I can do this job....

I'm sure that I've already started to draw on my past experiences and applied those skills in my current role, but they're probably so ingrained in my thought process that I don't even realise that I'm using them. Well, that's what I'm hoping, anyway.... :) And surely I can add much more value now than a graduate can in the same amount of time. Surely! LOL (And by graduate I mean a 'normal', run-of-the-mill graduate - not one of those freaks who scored 100 in their UAI and breezed through uni with a High Distinction average, all the while being involved in multiple extra-curricular activities on the side.)

So I just have to be more confident in my abilities, and give myself the time to absorb all the new information in my new role, and not beat myself up over not perfectly understanding everything right from the get go.

Easier said than done, of course.... But I'll try....